This is my first ever blog. So I apologize in advance for any “blog rules” I fail to obey, blog patrons and matrons I don’t acknowledge and any other blog rites I omit.
With that said, I will go on with my story, @ the end of which I’d like you to tell me if I should have just stayed home or not.
This Saturday started out pretty ordinarily. Woke up early, did the bathroom ritual and drove out for my morning rehearsal… Dance rehearsal to be precise. I had a busy day planned out so I had hoped to not waste any unnecessary time. On getting to the venue, only one person had come. I sighed internally, checked my time and got the rehearsal started.
I did mention it was a dance rehearsal right? Yeah, so I had fun. Even though most of the peeps didn’t come, and the few that came were late, I managed to leave 15 minutes after the scheduled closing time…not bad.
On getting home, tasked myself with the usual around-the-house chores with my eyes firmly on the time, while gisting with my bro who was relieving my greatest valentine moment in this life…ahhh, story for another day. Finished with that, got cleaned up, had breakfast and then settled down to cage some persistent monkeys (office work) that followed me into the weekend. With that done, I looked at my watch, 1:50pm. Good! Had a wedding to attend, @ least I could still make the reception.
Got ready, picked up @Miss Balance and started on my merry way to Unilag.
The merriness of the journey lasted till 20 minutes into the journey. Was on the speaker phone with someone and our very own LASTMA official pounced on me. I remembered the promise I made to myself some weeks back… to hit any idiot guy in a uniform that jumps in front of my moving car. Fortunately, common sense took over and I slowed down, oblivious to the exact nature of my “crime”. I wound down a bit to hear what this crime was and I was told that I was making a call and driving. I indignantly said it was on speakerphone and so what was d problem???
I guess that didn’t work cos the next second, there were 3 ‘officers’ in my back seat.
I drove forward to clear out of the way of the coming vehicles and parked up front to “dialogue” with these fine gentlemen of the order. “It’s against the law to answer a call while driving, speakerphone or not” after arguing for a couple of minutes, I heard the dreaded next five words, “okay, let’s drive down to our office”. Okay those were seven words, but five stuck. “Okay”, “drive”, “down”, “our” and “office”!
At that moment, some old song started playing in my head…”if u want to kill-e me, kill-e me make I die, I will never follow you to da station”
I refused out rightly oh. Don’t get it twisted or anything, myself and MissBalance begged these fine gentlemen to let us go. Fortunately I don’t hold too much money on me at any given point (yeh, im an e-guy “cool look”), so after much pleading and 4k later, we were on our, errrr not-so-merry way.
I was honestly contemplating going back home. It was already past 3pm, my scheduled plan for the day had gone way out of order. @Miss balance said we should just go, and @tobi_bbt, who I was supposed to hook up with @ the wedding, had already sent subtle threat messages on my bb that I had better find my way to Unilag notwithstanding. So, on I went.
The journey was unremarkable, except for the steady flow of boring songs from the radio. Miss B and I gisted our way to yaba and were 5minutes away from Unilag, and then, I mistakenly ventured about 10 centimeters into a road tagged as ‘one way’.
Yes, you guessed right. I got stopped by officers of the law. They asked for my license (I unfortunately had only original) and the pleading began again. I then heard the same dreaded five words, ha! @ this point, I was livid. I didn’t even let them touch the car let alone get in. After a while, they left me to catch another fresh “meat”. I just hissed, got into my car and casually drove off. I didn’t even bother checking my watch this time around.
We got to Unilag, parked the car and walked down to the hall…very late I may add. Met @tobi_bbt there and we all settled down. Was still boiling but the joy on the bride’s face on seeing us (yes yes, she is a remarkably hawt babe….*sigh*, another one gone) made me forget my woes and get in with the flow. Ran into other ex school mates there, caught up, gisted, mocked ourselves bla bla bla! It was fun.
It was finally time to go. Being license less, I let @tobi_bbt do the driving. And then he made an interesting suggestion… that we go and look for the policeman and get my license back. My first reaction (in my mind) was $%”+*@^&! My second was &^)@&!. On getting to my third, I listened to the voice of reason and agreed. @MissBalance also bought the idea, so I though “why not?”
On getting to the ‘appointed place’, I wasn’t surprised to find out that they had gone for the day, it was well into the evening after all. I had to admire the tenacity of @tobi_bbt cos he went as far as asking a bike man for their whereabouts. We were directed to the station. That pretty much settled it in my mind, was already calculating how to get a new license and for the meantime, scan my brother’s license, reduce the cheeks so it looks like me and go on with my life (…what?).
When @tobi_bbt then suggested that we go to the police station to look for the guy, I experienced a temporary mental freeze! Was he kidding??? Again, I listened to the “voice of reason” and so we went…white lambs to the lions’ den. On getting there, we asked the first person we saw. Miraculously, the very police officer came out of the station with his wife and baby, heading home.
We followed him and @tobi_bbt did all the talking and pleading. I sulk @ begging, so I just added the necessary ‘ýes’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘no’, ‘I’m really sorry’, ‘cute baby there’ (kidding) and the likes. 15 minutes, 2k and an exchange of numbers later, we were on our ‘merry’ way home. His WIFE sorted through the “various” licenses in the car and handed mine over. (Yes, it has become a family business)
I was glad the night ended well. It could have been worse… it could have been better. Friends provided quality advice and that saved the day.
The morale of my story… “POLICEMEN TAKE LESS CASH THAN LASTMA OFFICIALS”
Goodbye and so long!