“tap” “tap” “tap” “tap”
I was @ a client’s office typing furiously on the keyboard of my laptop. The client personnel I was working with kept looking @ me over his computer screen…his bulging eyes infuriated me just a little less than my colleague beside me. Not only had @Dolapo forgotten to copy the files we needed to work with from the office network, she was seating right beside me, pretending to watch as I reproduced the working papers at the rate of ‘five taps per second’ while she pinged away, typing at an even faster speed than I was (real talent). I had shouted enough for the day, so I kept my cool.
I had been whisked away from the office that morning on short notice. I barely had time to rush back home, throw a few clothes in a bag, hail a cab and make it to the airport in time so as not to miss the flight to Enugu. Well, I DID miss the flight thanks to @Dolapo. “I didn’t know what to pack for the trip…you know we girls have so many clothes” (blink, blink!), was the excuse she had the guts to tell me while I paid for another flight. There was a one hour delay! The client and my manager were barking and bickering over the phone and telling me that I had no excuse for missing the flight in the first place. I thought of a couple of things to say to them, but my eyes were fixed on @Dolapo who was making all sorts of irritating sounds with her mouth while she chewed on her gum! It pained me more because I HAD given her the gum! The flight was tiring and by the time we landed, got our stuffs, found a cab and headed for the client’s office, I had developed a nagging migraine.
So there I was, working at 9pm when my phone rang. I ignored it for a while. When the caller proved more persistent that my ignorance, I picked it up and gave a grumpy ‘hello’ without bothering to check the caller ID. It was @Missy, my errrr, ‘acting’ girlfriend at the time. After a few formalities, she told me she was pregnant. I looked at the date on the desk calendar, 15th April… a little too late to be an April fool. So I said “ok” and “I hope it’s a boy”, before proceeding to casually say goodbye, hang up, switch off my phone and continue with my work.
We worked late into the night, and by the time I got to my hotel room at 4:30am the next morning, sleep instantly took over.
I woke up7 hours later, readied myself, rushed a meal and dashed for the airport to catch my 5pm flight back to Lagos. Back in Lagos, I got into a cab and headed for my house. I put on my phone and several text messages came in.
“DO U THINK I’M JOKING! I’M PREGNANT FOR U, CALL ME!”…@Missy
“YOUR PHONE’S SWITCHED OFF! DON’T THINK YOU CAN HIDE”…@Missy
“Son, call me as soon as you get this”… @Dad
“I’M FREAKING OUT HERE… WTH! CALL ME”…@Missy
“LMAO! Dude, u have done it this time! Waiting for u at home”…@Brother
By this time, I was missing the ‘sweet sounds’ of @Dolapo’s chewing gum. How in the world did this happen? I called @Missy and she ‘calmly’ told me she AND her parents were at my house already, and that they were all waiting for me. A thousand thoughts went through my head. How did this happen?
Barely two months ago, I had decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day in grand style.
@Missy got to work to find dozens of flowers on her desk! As the day went on, chocolates, cakes and poetry followed. A gigantic teddy bear followed and shortly after. By 3pm, her boss sent her out for a meeting… only it turned out to be a visit to a spa for thorough pampering! After which she got her hair and nails done, a dinner dress with all the accessories and a chauffeured drive to a classy restaurant.
By the time she got in and saw me standing at her table, trying to look innocent while grinning sheepishly, she stood no chance. I could have confidently proposed to a NUN on this performance!
After dinner, desserts and a wild spin on the dance floor, we literally found ourselves in a hotel room and… errrr, I guess the rest is history.
Back to reality…what in the world was I supposed to do???? I had started sweating profusely! The cab driver looked back at me and asked if I was ok. When I ignored him, he reached out and poked me to get my attention. I just ignored him. He ignored my ‘ignorance’ of his poke and kept poking till I couldn’t take it anymore!
“Dude wake up! You’re going to be late for work!”
Only then, did I open my eyes to the darkness of the morning and the silent hum of my air conditioner…
Dear girl friend… SURELY u must understand why I WILL NOT be sending you anything on Valentine’s Day this year!